We're hiring who?
by HecatonchiresLM
Summary: Post chosen drabble series. The Cleveland school for aspiring female athletes has just hired GTO.
1. We have this resume

"We need someone", Woods said, "I can't run a school filled with hellions like these girls myself without some more staff"

"Who do you suggest?" asked Giles.

"Well, this man has come to my attention. He's japanese. A licensed highschool teacher. A karate blackbelt. He's got some great references. Also he's young enough to be a little... flexible in his world view"

"Sounds great? What's the prob?" Buffy chimed in.

"Well, he's had some trouble with the police in the past. Attempted murder"

Faith and Buffy guiltily put their hands up"

"And there's something about calling himself "Great Teacher Onizuka"

==================

For some reason, I write GTO drabbles. No idea why. There may be a sequel to this, hopefully also in drabble form.


	2. Sign here please

Eikichi thought his wildest dreams had come true. An all girls school! And they were all so athletic!

"Ok Mr Onizuka, its almost all ready. If you'll just sign this." The perky redhead had been talking almost constantly, the sudden silence washed over him.

"Eh?"

"It's our standard touch our girls and we'll ritually mutilate your body in disturbing ways clause. Magically binding of course. I recommend pricking your thumb." She handed him needle.

"Eh?"

"Classes are ok. It detects intent"

"Eh?"

"Just sign, ok"

No highschool girls? He looked at the redhead. It couldn't be that bad. He signed.

* * *

Of course, he doesn't know Willow, kinda gay now. Poor Eickichi. Exactly 100 words. 


	3. Mr O

Marie followed Janis up the stairs. "It's all been a bit of a surprise" 

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it pretty quick" Janis said. "Now, this will be your room. I think this, yes , here you are" She handed Marie a folder. "Thats your timetable etcetera." 

Marie flicked through it, then looked up "This Mr Onizuka seems to take a few classes" 

"Mr O? He's great. Bit wierd, and he has a thing for highschool girls, but he's learning what he can and can't do with slayers. His Karate classes are awesome! You'll love them." 

"Hangon, highschool girls!"

* * *

I actually wrote this before the previous chapter, and had to go back and write a prequel. Exactly 100 words. In case you can't tell from context, Marie is a new slayer, and Janis is a not so new slayer. 


	4. 6 Month Review

Eikichi sat down carefully in the low lounge seat. His body ached all-over, and the stitches were pulling. Across from him, Summers-san and Rosenburg-san also sat down.

"Ok, Mr Onizuka, we're here for your six-month review."

"Ah"

"Now, you've settled in here quite well over the period. We're impressed with your ability to acclimatise to the, wierdness, in the environment."

"Domo"

"The girls love your karate classes, and you've been quite helpful on field trips to the cemetaries, but we just have a few concerns."

"Eh?"

Buffy and Willow exchanged glances. "Whats this about 'shirts and skins' in PE class?"

* * *

Thanks to Lennox, who wanted to know the scoobies reaction to GTO's classes. Expect a patrolling one soon. Exactly 100 words. 


	5. Bonding o'er Bottle

Eikichi's deal at the school included room and board, just like his deal at Holy Forest, only this time he didn't have to carry his resignation in his pocket at all times. The contract he'd signed (in blood!) took care of that.

His room was at the top rear of the teachers wing and had easy access to the roof, so once again he'd taken to going there to smoke. The conversation with Wood-san about what he'd do to him if he got the girls started on that particular habit had been fairly illuminating.

Taking a cigarette from the pack stashed in his rolled up t-shirt sleeve, he lit it and took a deep drag. The band-aid on his cheek pulled a little, and he winced. "Che. Bakayarou."

"You keep swearing like that and you'll never improve your english."

Damn! There was someone else up here! Eikichi had wanted to sulk in private! He turned and looked. Sitting in the dark with his back against the wall was...

"Harris-san?"

"Hey , I've told you before, call me Xander. Came up here for a bit of private time. You look the same." Xander had a bottle, and it looked about half empty. "Want some?"

Eikichi considered it, took a swig of the proffered bottle, and handed it back. "Domo"

"Looks like you found my place. I thought the ashtray was Faith's"

Eikichi gestured with his cigarette. "Reminds me of old school. Holy Forest. Good place, good students."

"So how'd you end up here if you liked it so much there?"

"Ah, how you say, long story. There was a... misunderstanding. It was best I leave."

Xander started to look a bit menacing. "You didn't get a girl in trouble..."

"No no no. Well, yes, " Xander had started to stand up, "but not in that way. A girl I was teaching stabbed a man. He had been a teacher there, and had gotten a friend in her class pregnant. The friend killed herself from the shame of it. The girl hated him, blamed him for her friends death. She hated all teachers, decided none of them could be trusted." He took a drag of his cigarette. "I did my best to help her. At the end, there were some misunderstandings, it was..."

"...best you leave. Yeah, I get it. Explaining away some of the wierdness that happens around the slayers can be a bit like that. Sometimes its better to leave it than to stick around to explain it." Xander took another contemplative swig of his bottle. "So how long you been over here"

"Some years. These american students, they just as troubled as japanese." The shared bottle was starting to affect Onizuka, never the best at holding his liquor. Jumping to his feet, he posed, the wind up on top of the building entirely failing to ruffle his spiked bleached hair. "Need help of GRUUEETTT-ooo TEECHAAA OHNIIIIIZoooookaaaaAAAA!"

"Who?"

Eikichi deflated a little, "Great Teacher Onizuka"

"Ah. Ok. Drink?"

"Domo"

* * *

Quintuple drabble! Exactly 500 words. I was trying for "Xander and Eikichi bond over a bottle on the roof at night" but couldn't do it in 100 words with a joke at the end. So, in deference to reviewers who asked for longer chapters _pointed look_ here we go. I'm still calling it drabble if I can get multiples of 100 words in there.

Now, Eikichi was 22 in the anime, but if he's been in america for a few years, we'll say he's 24. Has he had a girlfriend yet? Is he still a virgin? Oh look, here comes Faith!


	6. Faith's Home

Faith clumped in through the bedroom door, threw her rucksack down on the floor and collapsed onto the bed. By her reckoning, she had enough frequent flyers points to go to disneyland four or five times over, but thats what came of being 'rapid-response' girl. After a few minutes staring at the ceiling, she decided to get up and have a shower. 57 hours in the same clothes was no longer cool.

Passing the window as she undressed, she caught a glimpse of a man standing below on the quadrangle. He appeared to be practicing some form of martial art, not so much stepping as flowing through complicated stances, but that was not what had caught her eye. He was shirtless, a glint of sweat highlighting his well-defined musculature, offset by his bleached hair. He was wearing loose pants, but barefoot. She was dimly aware of others down on the grass, following his motions, but her attention was riveted.

Faith realised she was still standing at the window, her shirt clutched in her hands, mouth open, one boot kicked off. She gave herself a quick shake. Maybe the shower could wait.

She caught a whiff of herself.

Ok, maybe not.

* * *

Double drabble - exactly 200 words. Sorry to those who like longer, but the whole point of this series is 'the drabble as art'. Trying to consistently tell a (very short) story in an exact multiple of 100 words is getting both easier and tougher. Word choice, and breaking the single drabble limit make it easier, however I'm running out of ideas for this. I have the faith/onizuka arc, and an 'on patrol' story, but thats it.

I have a few longer one shots, and a couple of stories with consistently long chapters that are begging for reviews -. If anyone would like to be a pre- reader for more We're hiring who? or for my buffy/pratchett cross What a Witch Does please contact me via the email link in my profile.


	7. Dorm Room Chat

"So have you seen her?"

"Who?"

"Yeah, who? There's a few Her's around here, in case you haven't noticed."

"Faith. She's been stalking Mr Onizuka."

"Mr O? But weren't she and..."

"Wood, yeah yeah. Old news. She wants to make Mr O her Oh Oh Oh!" Here the speaker put the back of her hand to her forehead, threw back her head and writhed. The surrounding girls swatted her with pillows while giggling.

"You bad girl."

"Yeah, but he fine man." Once again, everyone dissolved into giggles.

Outside in the hall Buffy cursed her Slayer hearing. Time to warn Onizuka.

* * *

Exactly 100 words. The plot thickens. 


	8. Staff Room Chat

Eikichi waved goodbye to the departing blonde and then slumped in his chair in the staffroom.

Kennedy popped her head up over the divider. "Are you ok there? Buffy can be pretty intense when she gets all speech-givvy."

"Ah, she warned me off the girls again. Said some of them were talking about me, but that it wasn't an invitation. The contract still stands."

"Oh, to bad. Cheer up. If I had any interest in men, I'd look you up. But you know what they say, the good ones are married or gay," she said with an evil smile.

"Che."

* * *

Exactly 100 words. Looks like Buffy didn't hear the Faith bit previously, or didn't think it important. Kennedy is a 'staff' slayer now - thats why she's in the staffroom. I liked her in the show, and think she's been a bit hard done by in the fandom. 


	9. Hello? Hello! Is anyone there?

Eikichi had the distinct feeling someone was following him, but whenever he looked around he couldn't catch whomever it was. There was also the case of the girls in his classes. They kept _smirking_ at him and falling quiet when he entered the room. A couple of times during his karate class, he had heard clicks, like someone using a camera. He had heard heavy breathing on the phone. He was also fairly certain someone had stolen some of his boxers from his laundry hamper.

There was obviously only one conclusion.

He was being set up to be framed again.

* * *

And the readers facefault. Exactly 100 words. For those who aren't so familiar with GTO, the first time someone is nice to him, they're initially setting him up. The once exeption seems to be the exec lady at Holy Forest. 


	10. Caught in the act

Faith carefully backed out of the door, her treasure clutched in one hand. Suddenly, a hand dropped on to her shoulder.

"What the hellmouth has gotten into you Faith?" said Xander.

With a muffled 'eep' she turned towards him and stuffed one hand behind her. "Oh, hey boytoy."

Unfortunately Xander wasn't alone. Buffy was the one holding her and they had both glimpsed what was in her hand.

"B! It's not what it looks like!"

"Eikichi mentioned someone had been in his room. We thought maybe a baby slayer, but not you Faith."

Faith sunk down a little. "I can't help it, he's just, you know, so, gah! This isn't like me." Appealing to Buffy "You know me B, want, take, have. Why can't I talk to him? Why can't I just knock boots and be over with it?"

Buffy relaxed her grip and reached down to pull the object from Faiths unresisting grip. "Faith, I think you have a cru... OH MY GOD! You're stealing his underwear!"

Xander grinned. "I think all that tough girl stuff has worn off a bit Faith." He nudged Buffy. "You like this guy."

Buffy started to grin and say in a singsong voice "She likes him, she likes him."

"Gah! I can't get him out of my freaking head. I caught myself doodling 'Faith Onizuka' on my desk! But I get so tongue-tied. I actually feel myself start to blush when he's around!"

Willow stuck her head around the corner. "You've caught her! Good. Now explain to her that she's still hetero and its ok for her to chat him up." She was followed by Dawn and kennedy, who joined in with Buffy's low 'she likes him' chant.

"Anooo, why is everyone outside my room? And why is Summers-San holding my underwear?"

"Eep"

* * *

Triple Drabble, exactly 300 words! Ok, the embarrasment should be spread around a bit now. 


	11. Interlude: Phonecall in Japan

Azusa Fuyutsuki fumbled her keys in the lock when she heard the phone in her unit start ringing. Getting the door open, she rushed to answer. "Moshi moshi"

"Hello, Fuyutsuki-san? This is Ryuji Danma."

"Hello Danma-san! Congratulations on your wedding. I heard from Kunio-kun."

"Ah, domo, domo, I'll pass your thanks to Nagisa-chan. I just thought I should tell you, I received a letter from Eikichi-kun."

"You have! He's ok? Where is he?"

"I think so. He's in America. Cleveland. He asked me to ship him some stuff, including his bike."

"Thats just like him."

"Would you like the address?"

* * *

Exactly 100 words! Azusa is a teacher at Eikichi's old school. They sort of had a crush/mutual like that hadn't really progressed. Ryuji is his best friend, the guy he was co-leader of a bikie gang with, but who settled down. They met a few times, normally when Onizuka trashed himself drinking. Anyone wondering where Onizuka's cosplay madness has been? It's in a crate that Ryuji just shipped from Japan. 

moshi moshi: a japanese answering the telephone thing  
domo: basically thankyou(kinda formal), not as formal as 'domo arigato', not as cheesy as just 'arigato' (if this is wrong, correct me)  
-san: respectful  
-kun: junior (masculine) (not like bob junior, but more like younger, less experienced)  
-chan: junior/very close (female)

Thanks for the reviews, especially McFarfetch. That was really nice. For more GTO info, this site has ton's of info: www dot miyabiaizawa dot com slash manga slash index.php


	12. Date Night

He was nervous.

After the initial confusion in the hallway outside his room, Xander had explained to him that it was just Faiths crazy American way of asking him out.

Once Dawn had waved smelling salts under his nose, he had arranged to go out with Faith that night. To say it had gone well was an understatement. Now they were alone, in her room, sitting on her couch. He had an arm around her, and was about to...

"Faith, emergency in Kuala Lumpur! We need you, stat!" a disembodied voice said.

"Crap" said Faith. "Being rapid response girl sucks"

* * *

Exactly 100 words. Time out for the happy? couple. 


	13. Boys and their Toys

That morning Eikichi had woken up early, actually looking forward to getting out of bed. Willow had shown him how to track the package Ryuji had sent him on the net, and it was due to arrive today. Of course, early meant 11am. The school had shifted the school hours slightly to help the girls in training take practise patrols as well as attend school.

By the time he made it downstairs after his shower, morning cigarette, and stopping off at the kitchen for some toast, he noticed a crowd of girls gathered around the large crate that had been delivered in his absence.

"Mr Onizuka! Hey, Mr Onizuka"

Eikichi knew that voice. Vaguely. He turned.

"Hey Mr Onizuka" Andrew Wells said. "Somethings been delivered for you. Its pretty heavy. It took four of the girls to move it around the back." Four girls closest to the crate waved. One winked. Eikichi cursed his contract for the third time that day.

"Ah, domo, thankyou. Natalie-chan, could you please, umm, pry it open?" he asked one of the girls. He'd learnt in his first month to let the girls do the heavy work. The blonde pulled her shortsword from a hidden back sheath and started to pry the wood up, only to be stopped by a shout.

"Stop that!" An incensed Miss Summers was running towards them. Eikichi admired her form. "You should know better than that Natalie. Swords are not levers. And you!" She rounded on Onizuka. "You should be setting a better example for care of weapons," and turning back to the girl. "When prying things open, use your dagger. They're cheaper."

Eikichi face faulted. Buffy helped him back up. Then she turned back to the girls and pointed at the crate. "Come on! Lets see what he got!"

* * *

Exactly 300 words. Looks like everythings arrived. Or has it? 


	14. Bike is Back

"So what do you think?" 

In front of them, a bleached maniac on a motorbike roared past the front steps ofo the school. 

"About what?" 

The bike went back the other way, this time with the driver posing on the seat. 

"Onizuka." 

Back again, this time with the driver sitting backwards, relaxing, drinking a beer. In the background, girls could be seen cheering him on. 

"Oh. Whats the problem?" 

At the end of the driveway, the driver flipped up into a handstand whilst spinning the bike around. The cheering intensified. 

"He's not teaching drivers ed this year." 

"Or Ever" 

"Agreed"

* * *

Exactly 100 words. His bike is back! 


	15. Powered by nuclear energy

Jane had only been at the school for a week, which later on helped to explain her actions. 

"So anyway, I saw like this DEMON just WALKING AROUND and I just grabbed my sword coz like they say in classes 'Be prepared'" At this she looked at the assembled staff in front of her, seeking approval. Xander nodded kindly. Wood winced a little at his blatant theft of the scout motto.

"So anyway, I jumped out the window and landed on it"

"And you didn't notice anything wierd?" interjected Buffy?

"Hello? It was like my first demon! I'd aced the flash cards on wednesday and didn't recognise it, but I figured it just wasn't in that set"

Willow looked guilty. The flash cards were her idea.

"So anyway, I started wailing on the demon, and it let out this huge cry in some demonic language, and it was doing a pretty good job of fending me off, but I figured that someonehad to hear that, and peoplewere on the way and I had to hold it off from carrying out its apocalyptic tasks untill they got there."

By this time the pseudo-militant fervour in the 14 year old girls eyes was a little disturbing to see. Buffy decided to end it there.

"Ok, thanks Jane. Good work defending justice. We'll talk again tomorrow."

The pubescent demon fighter jumped down from her stool and skipped to the door. "So, like can I get a hall pass? I'm late for archery."

"It's ok, Kennedy knows you were with us" replied Buffy.

After she skipped out, the scoobies huddled.

"So, will Eikichi be ok?" asked Xander.

"We think so. He's just going to have to rethink his cosplay hobby. Maybe nothing with a full face mask, and definately never Godzilla again"

* * *

So, exactly 300 words. The starting almost every sentence with so was intentional. Please contact me if you want to preread a buffy/discworld crossover chapter. I've been stuck on it for ages. 


	16. Kisses so sweet

Everyone knew Faith and Mr Onizuka had been, well, dating was a strong word for it. Everytime they got close, trouble would flare up somewhere around the globe. Faith was getting pretty sick of airline food. She was also pretty sure she was cursed.

Thats why she was so nervous sitting out on the back porch. His arm was around her. She had turned just a little bit, supporting her weight with one hand on his (muscley, firm)thigh. Her other was reaching up, sliding across his (very firm) chest to his (oh so broad) shoulders. Their (moist)lips were getting closer... closer... She parted her lips slightly in anticipation. Her breath trembled in her throat. His breath was hot on hers.

bangbangbang

She jumped, the top of her head clipping Eikichi's jaw. "Chikusho!"

"Mr O" someone called from inside, knocking on the window, "There's someone in the lobby to see you"

* * *

1.5 drabble. Haven't done anything on this in so long, I thought I'd try to work to a conclusion. 


End file.
